What will kill me today?

Morbid start I know, but hear me out.

I was watching an episode of Greys Anatomy where a woman believed she had stomach cancer - because she had all the symptoms according to an online diagnostic tool.

She didn't. She had bought some antibiotics online that made her sick. But that's not the point here.

The point is - she talked about the fact that there are 1000 things a day that can kill you. When I saw that, I had a little cry. Because its true! I feel that way ALL the time - not so much about me. More about my kids. Let's face it - we are universally destroying this planet. Whats it going to be like for our kids? If there are a 1000 things potentially waiting to kill us now, how many when they grow up?? I am constantly stressed about what could kill me and leave the kids without me - what could kill them... what could kill my husband... I am actually terrified of him driving to work each day. How ridiculous is that?!

Ok - this is dark - and I know it, but I also know i am not the only person who feels it.

All this is stemming from the fact that my mother is forcing me to go to the doctor. I have been 'in the wars' as she puts it. Tripping over things, walking into things, shutting doors on my toes, bashing elbows, closing the boot of my car on my head (yes that really did happen) - long story.

That, coupled with the fact that I have had persistant headaches for the past week or so, to the point of being bedridden yesterday with a migrane has bells ringing in her mind - so wants me to go see the doctor.

Chances are - I am distracted, I am trying to do too many things at a time, it's Christmas and I am stressed to the max... all of the above.

But what if..... the question always lingers.

Just thinking out loud.